The pot of gold

I once had to explain to my daughter that there was a limit to the pile of gold,just as there was to her pocket money. Once it was gone, it was gone!
She expressed her surprise.
She had it seemed thought that adults had a never ending supply of riches and were just being mean when they said no.

For some families,I believe that misunderstanding is never resolved.
The children are under the impression that their adults say no because they don't want them to have nice things.
It is reinforced by other children who will explain quite innocently (or not ) that their parents have given them all these nice things because they love them and want them to have everything.

The child who is not enlightened is going to be the adult that cant say no to themselves .

They will learn at some stage in life that the things they value the most are the hardest won.


It is interesting to see how many children actually do the family shop.
They accompany their adult to the shop and proceed to tell them what to buy.
The adult sometimes raises an objection,often it is 'oh but you don't like XYZ' (and this said in a very questioning style as if to say 'please don't choose this and then reject it once we get home'  but the child somehow has the power and will simply point out that they do like it since they had it at thingummies house.
Into the basket it will go. Although more likely the trolley as they want to make sure there is room for all those treats.
That child will have an uphill struggle when they get to the age of responsibility.
How can they say no to themselves, no one else ever has?

One quite polite little boy in the queue in poundland was just like that.
In the line his mother pointed to the chocolates and said 'oh grab a box of maltesers please johnny'.
Johnny said '2,one for me and one for you!'
We can share them says mummy but says nothing when he brings 2 and puts them in the basket.
You must share yours with uncle dave she says.
Back over he goes and picks up another packet, 'no uncle dave can have one too' he says and she says nothing again but  proceeds to pay for 3 boxes of chocolates when she had chosen  one for sharing.

The child has learned that mummy is not in charge and he doesn't have to share if he doesn't want to.